I can live for two months on a good compliment.
---- Mark Twain
Someone sent me a sweet text message last week.
“I must say you are indeed a wonderful person. Thanks so much for giving me your attention.”
Okay, looking at it now almost a week later, maybe it wasn’t ‘out of this world,’ but the gesture meant a lot to me and the message warmed my heart. Partly because it was unexpected and partly because this is someone I really admire and I honestly didn’t see spending a chunk of my time on her project as a big deal.
And then my son got back from a 10-day school field trip yesterday. He came into my room with a wrapped present – for me! I was so, so touched and took it, protesting about his spending his pocket money on a random gift when it was meant for purchasing other things while on the trip.
My heart melted and my eyes welled up with tears after I’d opened up the wrapping paper and discovered what the gift was:
A jewelry box!
A beautiful, glossy jewelry box with two exotic birds painted on it, perched on a tree. A jewelry box with a sharp mirror on the inside and a good deal of space in there for most of my earrings!
I was beyond shocked. I marveled at his good taste – and at the fact that he knew me so well! I asked him how come, out of everything he could’ve chosen as a gift, he chose this. He replied that he noticed my old jewelry box was ‘sort of ghetto.’
Excuse me? Can you imagine?
He was right, though, so we had a good laugh about that and I gave him a big hug. We talked for about 20 minutes about the trip, and then I shooed him into the bathroom to take a shower and scrub himself thoroughly with a wash cloth. He was reeking. (Don’t these teenagers take baths on field trips?)
As he sang in the shower, I transferred my pieces of jewelry to their new home: two necklaces (which I neither notice nor wear), lots of earrings, and my wedding ring.
He mentioned he bought a gift for his sister, too. It turned out to be a cute, immaculate white stuffed animal-cum-pencil case/purse thingy. It’s a polar bear. Too cute! Let’s just say I was blessed that he remembered us in this way – and so was my daughter.
All this got me thinking of The Five Love Languages identified by renowned marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman. Turns out that this is another one of my books that has disappeared into thin air. So I got online and was pleasantly surprised to find that you can take a short, 5-minute test to identify your primary love language right here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/.
The website explains that “The Love Language Profile … will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with those closest to you and effectively enhance the relationships in your life.” It continues: “When we think of love languages, our immediate thought may be of a romantic relationship. However, we express love and affection in a variety of contexts and relationships. As you work through the profile, think of a significant person with whom you are close: a boyfriend or girlfriend, a good friend, a parent, a colleague, etc.”
The 5 Love Languages in alphabetical order are as follows:
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Words of Affirmation
At the end of my test, my primary love language turned out to be (surprise, surprise): Words of Affirmation.
It was fun for me to see how I’ve changed since I bought The Five Love Languages book in my first year of marriage. Back then, I remember there being a close tie between ‘Words of Affirmation’ and ‘Acts of Service.’ Today, ‘Acts of Service’ came 4th out of the five languages. That was really interesting to me, and I wondered if it had to do with the fact that I’ve done so much on my own for so many years that ‘Acts of Service’ as a love language is just less relevant.
So I’ve changed and I haven’t changed. I’m still a sucker for words. Words of affirmation.
What about you? What’s your primary love language?
Don’t be shy – do tell!