Something my very close friend said to me this morning. We weren't talking about marriage, actually; it just sort of came out of the blue. It was so striking that I asked her say it again (so I could type it up). I want to remember it.
After I posted this the first time, she went on to say (via email):
'I hope the comment makes sense to readers and helps them to understand that 'wholesome love' (if there's such a phrase) DEMANDS and insists on responsible behavior and accountability from one's partner. This kind of love does not avoid difficult conversations, but in a mature manner, brings up and addresses issues (be they on sex, money, in-laws, or whatever), rather than ignore them with the hope that they will somehow disappear over time. Ignoring stuff does not make the stuff disappear; it only hurts us, and weakens the cord of love and trust in the relationship. Wholesome love is not afraid to insist on being shown love and admiration, and being treated with respect and dignity. Of course, this love is also giving and caring. I'm sure you get what I mean. We must love and treat our spouse right, but we must also DEMAND the same from them, and we should never shy away from bringing up issues that bother us.'
After I posted this the first time, she went on to say (via email):
'I hope the comment makes sense to readers and helps them to understand that 'wholesome love' (if there's such a phrase) DEMANDS and insists on responsible behavior and accountability from one's partner. This kind of love does not avoid difficult conversations, but in a mature manner, brings up and addresses issues (be they on sex, money, in-laws, or whatever), rather than ignore them with the hope that they will somehow disappear over time. Ignoring stuff does not make the stuff disappear; it only hurts us, and weakens the cord of love and trust in the relationship. Wholesome love is not afraid to insist on being shown love and admiration, and being treated with respect and dignity. Of course, this love is also giving and caring. I'm sure you get what I mean. We must love and treat our spouse right, but we must also DEMAND the same from them, and we should never shy away from bringing up issues that bother us.'
