tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post8901453882379327206..comments2023-03-07T16:22:52.809+03:00Comments on Remembering My Journey: How did you know it was time to stop praying for your marriage?rmjhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02523070262874253128noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post-80148650297903953472014-12-05T08:09:25.132+03:002014-12-05T08:09:25.132+03:00Thanks for your encouraging comment. I hope the la...Thanks for your encouraging comment. I hope the lady I was writing to in this post gets to read it. Indeed, God heals.rmjhttp://remembering-my-journey.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post-68505289241212158412014-12-05T04:48:02.301+03:002014-12-05T04:48:02.301+03:00Make Jesus your everything and let his will be don...Make Jesus your everything and let his will be done.Trust Him,He has a good plan for your life,to prosper you and give you a hope and a future.All things work out for good for those that love the Lord.Look to Jesus,keep your eyes on Him only.He will heal you and give you what's best for you.God bless Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post-6623271710361943702013-11-12T19:04:46.205+03:002013-11-12T19:04:46.205+03:00God bless you. Thanks for your comment.God bless you. Thanks for your comment.rmjhttp://remembering-my-journey.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post-55048490673420275562013-11-12T17:25:56.100+03:002013-11-12T17:25:56.100+03:00Words of wisdom, rmj; I think it is so important f...Words of wisdom, rmj; I think it is so important for every woman to be in a place where 'she has something going on for herself and isn’t seeing a relationship as the solution to all of her problems in life'. God bless you for your thoughtfulness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post-44928797656862335392013-08-02T13:50:05.470+03:002013-08-02T13:50:05.470+03:00Good word, Ekene. Thank you for taking the time to...Good word, Ekene. Thank you for taking the time to share this. I know it'll bring comfort to many that read it, and I especially hope it does to the lady that left the comment. rmjhttp://remembering-my-journey.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post-2947270777938247042013-08-02T02:53:02.289+03:002013-08-02T02:53:02.289+03:00RMJ thank you for your thoughtful reply to this de...RMJ thank you for your thoughtful reply to this dear woman. <br /><br />I can't add anything, but I would like to share this note I wrote to a woman in a similar woman in 2009. <br /><br />To colored girls who have considered suicide (or murder) when marriage was not enough...<br />December 29, 2009 at 6:39am by Ekene Onu<br /><br />Maybe he hurt you<br />Maybe he left you<br />Maybe he disappointed you<br />Maybe he betrayed your trust<br />Maybe he broke your heart<br />Maybe he broke your spirit<br /><br />May be you left him<br />May be you are still together<br />May be you are confused about what path to take<br />May be you are pressured into staying on one<br />One thing is for sure, no matter how you find yourself, in or out you can still be happy.<br /><br />I got the saddest response to my note the other woman. From a woman who felt she lost her husband to one. It was filled with pain and bitterness. She felt victimized. She painted herself as less than and I know how that can feel when your self esteem is damaged.<br /><br />I want to give her a hug and say this...<br /><br />Perhaps you keep replaying the horrible things he said to you in your mind. Perhaps you look in the mirror and you no longer like what you see. Drown the noise out. Get a new soundtrack.<br /><br />Just forgive and let go. Move on. You are not a victim.<br /><br />Yes, he may have hurt your pride and shattered your heart, but you can still be happy. He was not courageous in leaving and your marriage was never a trap...He chose to walk out, ok, fine.<br /><br />Truth be told, the demise of your relationship was not caused by him or you alone. Maybe there were things you both could have done better, maybe you could have both become better, because no woman can take a man permanently who wasn't already looking for a way out. So yes, this realization probably hurts and things may suck right now, but this is not the defining moment of your life.<br /><br />This pain will pass, if you let it. What looks like an abandonment is actually a release. So you have downturned lips, get together with some girlfriends, have a glass of wine or two, put on some great music, allow yourself to cry it all out, then dance it all back, reclaim your sexy, reclaim your soul and open your eyes and live.<br /><br />I know the other women may seem a person to envy right now, but I assure you the picture is not as rosy as you think it is. And anyway who cares. You have a brand new life ahead of you. A chance to do it all over. How many people get that?<br /><br />You have your children, who no doubt are the most precious things in your life. Give them a kiss and hug and laugh with them. Shoot, if you can't call anyone, call me. Together we can cry and then dry our tears, we can pray and hear from God, then we can laugh and make merry, we can look at the life that is ahead of us, because I don't have any plans of dying and I will share with you the chapters that I have closed that were filled with pain and I will show you those that are not yet written that will be filled with joy. When something like this happens it is tempting to stay there but my darling turn the page. This is one chapter, it is not your whole story. Rewrite your poem.<br /><br />I was the wife, in a past life<br />Now I look forward, now I look up<br />I have dried my tears, I have quelled my fears<br />I now know my worth, I know how to push forth.<br />I gave birth to children, I will birth myself.<br />Into a new place of healing and forgiveness, into a new place of possibilities and blessings.<br />Today I am rocking joy and I refuse to wear shame.<br />Today I will laugh<br />Today I will live<br />Today I will love<br />Watch this space...<br />because the best is yet to come.Ekenehttp://www.refreshwithekene.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post-72290296568865722912013-07-29T15:55:33.617+03:002013-07-29T15:55:33.617+03:00Hi, Nzilani - Thanks for the affirmation. This is ...Hi, Nzilani - Thanks for the affirmation. This is such a delicate issue and I always worry about the dangers of generalizing from my own experience alone, so it's good to hear other voices out there. I hope other people write in to give Anonymous further direction. In the meantime, here's to peace!rmjhttp://remembering-my-journey.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7054039536263786770.post-15098433938674193972013-07-29T15:23:17.812+03:002013-07-29T15:23:17.812+03:00Hi RMJ,I don't have anything to add. You have ...Hi RMJ,I don't have anything to add. You have said it all. I have been through it all and I totally agree with you on this "It seems contradictory, but when a marriage that you value has also been a source of immense tension, relief is a natural emotion to have. Peace is such a priceless thing".Nzilaninoreply@blogger.com